Expectant Bridesmaids
Q: HELP! I have two bridesmaids who are pregnant. What should I do for bridesmaids’ dresses?
Rachel Clark
A: You are not alone! We actually have someone on our staff who had the exact same situation. She painted cards for everyone in the color range she wanted and gave the bridesmaids guidelines: ankle- to floor-length dresses and no strapless. The dresses the girls chose fit each one beautifully. The expectant bridesmaid ended up having a hard time finding floor-length maternity dresses, so hers was shorter, but it fit her perfectly and she was able to shop for it closer to the wedding so she didn’t have to guess on her size.
Another option to consider for your pregnant bridesmaids would be empire-waisted, A-line or front panel dresses that don’t hug the tummy as much. For expectant bridesmaids, shops will order dresses two sizes larger than usual.
Family Showers
Q: My mother will soon be entering into her third marriage. I read in your Q&A that mothers should not throw showers for their daughters, and I respect that. What about a daughter throwing a shower or tea for her mother?
Sonja Miller, North Little Rock
A: “Emily Post’s Etiquette” doesn’t provide specific guidelines about a parent getting married, but it does say that immediate family should not give showers. We take that to include the reverse situation in which you find yourself. Perhaps a friend of hers would like to throw a shower and you can help her prepare food or decorate.
Another idea would be throwing her a brunch or tea just to celebrate her impending marriage and inviting her close friends and family members without calling it a shower. Some people will bring shower gifts anyway.
However, each situation is different, and etiquette is always meant as a guide, not a hindrance. If circumstances warrant it, such as your mom lives far from the place where she’s getting married, then throwing her a shower may be the right thing to do.
Wedding Officiants
Q: My fiance and I are looking for secular wedding officiants in Arkansas. Is there any information that you could give us about this?
Isaac Foote, Little Rock
A: You’re in luck! It turns out that the County Clerk’s Office has a list ready for just that purpose. Just call (501) 340-8330 for the Pulaski County Clerk’s marriage license line, and they can give you a list of about 15 justices of the peace to officiate the wedding.
Renting Churches
Q: I have a large family, but my small church will not hold all of those people. A lot of churches that I went to don’t rent to non-members, and this whole ordeal is getting very frustrating! Will you please give me some suggestions?
Katina Peyton
A: Some churches are happy to rent the sanctuary to non-members, even if they are of a different faith. We’ve found that most Catholic and Episcopal churches only allow marriages of couples in which at least one person is that faith. Methodist, Presbyterian and Baptist churches may be more lenient in that regard, but you can pretty much count on paying a non-member fee on top of the rental fee.
Just call the church office, explain your situation and ask if the church is available to non-members, even of another faith. There may be restrictions on who can perform the ceremony, depending on the individual church.
Other options to consider: Many times the bride and groom whittle the guest list to the closest family members and friends for the ceremony but invite everyone to the reception. Or you could rent a hall that can serve for both the ceremony and reception.
(If you’ve got questions, don’t hesitate to e-mail us at advice@arkansasbride.com. You can also write to us at Arkansas Bride, P.O. Box 3686, Little Rock, AR 72203.)
