I have a reputation of which I’m quite proud. When I say proud, I somewhat cringe because it’s a half truth. At wedding events, I’ve been known to rock the Angus to some ACDC, take the mic for a full performance of “Hey Ya,” do some interpretive dancing, and I may or may not have played a very naughty rap song at a small-town wedding.
My point is that I love a good wedding reception, which makes me really hate a boring one. If you are planning a nice afternoon wedding with cake and punch, this post is not for you. I invite you to continue reading, but this valuable knowledge will do you no good. This advice is for brides who are wanting a wedded bliss bash full of dancing until it’s entirely too late.
You need to create a safe, fun, laid-back atmosphere so people can shake it without judgment. This post will help you have a banging party, which people will still be talking about on your seventh wedding anniversary.
I’ve been a sucker for receptions my whole life. I grew up in a family where my parents went to different churches. I used to tell them as a little girl that I wanted a “Baptist wedding and a Catholic reception.” I got both. My best friend’s father, a Baptist preacher, married me. We then broke out the kegs and margarita machines for dancing all night long, complete with a reenactment of the final scene from Dirty Dancing, because, by God, NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER.
Follow these steps to ensure a good time is had by all.
1. Offer Liquid Courage
The truth is some people won’t dance without having a drink first. Make sure your venue will allow alcohol, and find a way to serve it that suits your budget. You can most certainly go cheaper with a venue that allows you to bring your own. As soon as you hear those glorious words, ask your friend in the military to help you get your booze on base. They have lower costs and no taxes. Check your local liquor store for sales on certain wines. Buy bottles over a long period of time so as not to have to pay a huge bill at once.
I know self-service from a keg might not be the glamorous-server-in-a-bowtie look you envisioned. Why not spend 100 of those bucks you saved on cute plastic cups that match your theme or colors? Your happy guests won’t think a thing about pumping one for themselves. If you can’t afford to pay for a full bar all night long and your venue forces you to buy through them and hire their bartenders, go simple with a beer and a red and white wine for guests to choose from. If you can swing it, do one signature cocktail. Let’s say you can only cover a bar tab of $1,000 and you have many guests who drink. As a guest, I would prefer tea or soda with my dinner, and watching you do a father-daughter dance if it ensured that I wasn’t turned away at the bar once I got to dancing!
2. Shoot for atmosphere, not decor
Be smart about your use of space. Put the bar by the dance floor and rent some cocktail tables so guests can drop their drink off and go at the first note of “Shout.” Rent some fab furniture to create a loungelike space. If this splurge isn’t in your budget, be smart. Glance around every friend’s home for funky chairs, couches with great lines and pillows that match your color scheme. If you are super handy, hit up resale shops and flea markets. You’d be amazed at the awesome chandeliers, side tables, and benches you can get that would look great with a little paint and new fabric. Having a place your besties can park it when their dogs are barking will be well worth that 45 bucks. If you can’t use it when you’re done with it, sell it on Craigslist and make some profit. Now you have some extra honeymoon cash.
Make sure the temperature is neither too hot or cold. If the venue is outside, ask the director if space heaters are available. If it’s a little warm, have some cute fans and parasols. If you want to go above and beyond, think about your guests’ needs and wants during a reception. Have some flip-flops handy for the ladies. In the restrooms, have anything they might need after too much booze or too much dancing. I’d include Tums, hairspray, deodorant, bobby pins, and breath strips or gum. It’s also very chic to offer a late-night snack. Have a food vendor or your caterer come out at about 11 with a nice starchy snack to soak up some of the giggle water. Also, see if the hotel you referred the guests to will offer to shuttle (a.k.a. DD) your guests from the reception to the hotel.
3. Play It and They Will Come … to the Dance Floor, that is
This is the most important aspect of all — you MUST carefully select your music. I’ve worked weddings with brides who used Big John Miller Band, Tragikly White, and Brenda and Ellis. All these bands were very professional, and most importantly, great entertainers. If you are going with a live band, you have got to pick one that plays a wide range of music to suit everyone’s tastes. These bands are excellent at keeping everyone happy.
If you can’t find a band with a great set list, or can’t afford their asking price, hire a DJ with a great reputation. Ask for references to make sure they follow the couple’s wishes, and keep the guests dancing. It’s totally OK to give the DJ a list of songs you absolutely have to hear, as well as a list of “under no circumstances, no matter who begs” songs that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy.
If you are creating your own iPod playlist to save money, I have what you need to be successful. There is a delicate, sacred protocol to follow. Break your playlists into blocks of time depending on how long you have the venue. The first block of time needs to be music that appeals to your parents and great-aunts. We’re talking Rat Pack, Mel Torme, The Temptations, Nat King Cole, etc. This is perfect for cocktail hour and dinner. The next block of time is when you want people to get on the dance floor, but your grandma and the pastor are still there. Continue with the classics, but add in some Al Green and Smokey Robinson so your parent’s friends will dance and have a good time. It’s the least you can do since they gave you a place setting of china and probably $100 for graduating from college a few years ago. At the end of this second block, add in ’80s and ’90s classics. Who doesn’t love Tone-Loc’s “Wild Thing?” Now those friends of your parents and that uncle every family has is a little tipsy and thinks they look super-cool dancing to Run DMC and Salt-n-Pepa. The last block of time is reserved for your friends and your music tastes. Break out the Beyonce, Usher, Pitbull, Rihanna, and some slow songs so that those single college friends can have a chance to find love at your wedding.
Follow these three steps and you can be sure that the day you will always remember will be followed by a evening you’ll never forget.
Christen Bufford is a part-time wedding planner who likes traveling, chocolate milkshakes, the Beatles and anything French. By trade, she is a history teacher; by birth she is an Irish loudmouth.
