Southern weddings — maybe you’re seeing pictures of bleeding armadillo groom’s cakes and pale pink bridesmaid’s dresses. Yes, “Steel Magnolias” set the standard for what many people envision when they think of a Southern wedding.
We often wonder if the editors of those national magazines are only watching “Steel Magnolias” when they research weddings in the South. But here in Arkansas, we know what it really means to be a Southern bride. And it’s much more than big hair, pink roses and groom?s cakes.
Brides in the South love big weddings, and they often find it hard to pick and choose their bridesmaids. That’s why it’s not unusual to attend a wedding that has 10 to 12 bridesmaids and an equal number of groomsmen, plus a house party and ushers. We know of a recent wedding held in Little Rock that had 40 attendants!
And all of those close friends love to give parties galore. In the North, one to two bridal showers is the norm; here in the South, that’s just the start of months’ worth of luncheons, tea parties and get-togethers.
When the big day finally arrives, it’s often a huge event, from the seven-tiered cake to the flower arrangement that dwarfs the guests. Since so many people are usually invited — having 500 guests is not uncommon at all — Southern brides tend to prefer buffet receptions instead of seated dinners. With so many guests, buffets are less expensive and allow more time for dancing — an important aspect to many Southern weddings.
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The large number of guests often rules out giving favors. Of course, some Southern brides who have small weddings still enjoy giving favors to their guests, but the majority of brides choose to spend their money elsewhere.
In a region that offers so many beautiful flowers, flora is a top priority for brides, and much of the money saved from not giving favors goes into floral arrangements. In their season, quintessentially Southern wedding flowers celebrate the intimacy Southerners have with their heritage and gardens, and they offer the bride an opportunity for a bouquet filled with old-fashioned romance.
Some tried-and-true favorites are camellias for winter, hydrangeas for early summer, and gardenias and garden roses for summer. Other popular selections include tulips, lilacs, narcissus and anemones for spring; delphinium, peonies, calla lilies, Oriental lilies and daisies for summer; mums and dahlias for autumn; and roses, Lenten roses and orchids for winter.
Southerners know how to throw — and attend — a smashing event, but unfortunately, they don’t always follow Emily Post’s etiquette rules. Southerners are notorious for not responding. And if they do say they will attend the wedding, they sometimes don’t show. Fortunately for brides who have buffet receptions, no-shows don’t hit the budget as hard as an empty seat in front of a $30 filet mignon getting cold.
Couples who get married in the South also have to prepare for kids at their wedding even if they weren’t invited. Southern guests have a bad habit of bringing their children to weddings regardless of whether they were listed on the invitation.
Although Southern guests sometimes miss their cue on a few etiquette rules, others are followed religiously. In the North, it isn’t uncommon for sisters and mothers to host bridal showers; here in the South that is taboo. And “Crane’s Wedding Blue Book” is consulted on a daily basis by brides and their mothers when it comes to addressing invitations.
Southern weddings are unique and, in our opinion, aren’t discussed enough. We hope you find this newest edition of Arkansas Bride full of ideas and resources for your dream wedding. If you have suggestions on what makes a Southern wedding, e-mail us at advice@arkansasbride.com.
